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Applying the rules of real life to the internet

Applying the rules of real life to the internet isn’t really very hard to do when you look at it for what it really is.

Saw a saying today that went somewhat like this:
“The last time I had faith in the news was when it was with Huey Lewis”

Hate to say it, but there’s more truth to that saying than most people realize.

If people were to look for the true definition of what it means to be passive aggressive, they wouldn’t have to look any farther than the social media app they have on their phones.

Social media, not too unlike our federal government, is designed in such a way so-as to keep the populous at each others throats.

Social media algorithms are somewhat of an affront to the general public at large in that not only are these written to insult the intelligence of the average human as a general rule, they are also chocked full of narcissistic, micro-agressive, and passive-aggressive data points.

Social media isn’t designed to solve problems, people are, and it’s the social media that actively, through algorithm, prevents any meaningful solutions to be had through public discourse on the platform.

Throughout the years, I’ve never been one to look at shows like Jerry Springer, Morton Downey Jr., Oprah, or Dr. Phil. These shows pretty much laid the groundwork for the modern social media we see today, both in business and advertising models.

I’ve never really ever entertained the thought of purchasing that tabloid that was on the rack at the grocery store check out stand — I’ve never looked at soap operas either.

With this all being said so far, you might find yourself asking. “Alan, how can you say this? Are you not on the social media platforms too? Do you not engage?”

My answer would be yes to those questions — Though I might have “seen” the tabloids on the checkout stand, I never bought in to what they were selling. My social media activity is about as much as that, and I have all of my social media posts to back me up on this. I can look at cartoons all day long, but I’d only have a problem if I thought all of those cartoons were real.

When I was a kid, my Mom use to say that soap operas were written for the mentality of a 12 year old. As I’ve gotten older over the years, I’ve pretty much come to realize that Mom was right.

Applying the rules of real life to the internet means ignoring many of the news sites
Stopped looking at many of the news sites (tap or click image to enlarge)

Whenever I fire up my PC, the first thing I look at is the weather. Then I go over any tech support requests I might have for the hosting/web development services I offer. After that, I venture in to the Twitters to look at the latest outrage of the day. It could quite literally be hours before I venture over to the news. I start with local/regional, and then, if I’ve had enough coffee by then, I’ll look at the national level news.

I usually go into the news sites already knowing that genuine journalism has been dead in this nation for years.

All we have now are the National Inquirers, the Jerry Springers, and the soap operas, so there isn’t anything about it that surprises or shocks me — modern American news is pretty predictable, what with all of it’s so-called hot takes and gotchas.

I don’t bookmark social media or the news. I don’t make it a point to ever wanting to remember or to otherwise continue where I might have left off the day before. My browser is set up in such a way that starts each day brand new. You know, sort of like how real life is in that every day is a brand new day. Whenever I close my browser, all that had gone on in that particular session is erased from the history by default. On the following day, I have to enter the URL and login all over again and I’m fine with that.

Applying the rules of real life to the internet means accepting the opinions of others
Accepting the opinions of others (tap or click image to enlarge)

I love to engage with people. Engagement is what makes the world go ’round. It’s always nice to meet folks who might think differently than I do, because different thoughts, opinions, and ideas are what helps to cause us to remain grounded and focused as we forge our way throughout the course of the day.

When I’m applying the rules of real life to the internet, I make my friends on Twitter in much the same way as I make my friends in the real world — One at a time, and slowly.
I mean, making 500 friends in one day in real life is absurd. Making 500 friends in one day on Twitter is equally absurd — this is when you go from living real life to going all off into some fantasy land.

What’s up with these so-called social media influencers? I mean, WTF is that all about anyway? I don’t have the time for big egos.

Met Garth Brooks in Missoula one year and the guy was a total ass. Sure, the concert was good and all, but his inability to actually engage was telling. Even with one on one it was a fail.

Meeting people who might supposedly be famous or rather well known in the social circles is usually just the average blow. They’re so wrapped up in themselves that there wouldn’t ever be a chance on any kind of meaningful dialogue or engagement, so why bother? The noise that these guys create is deafening. I very politely dismiss these so-called social media influencers. Their follower count is so high, and things are so loud, that I’d bet they’d never notice the fact that I wasn’t even there.

I like to engage, and I like to visit with real people. My follower count on Twitter is a reflection of that.

I’m just not in to all of the hype. I look at the news only occasionally. I don’t bookmark things that others might see as important. I keep all of the social media and the news completely off of my phone, and my browser deletes cache and cookies after every session.

I don’t mind that some of my friends might go all off in various different directions — it’s what makes my friends so much fun to be around. I mean, having friends that did everything the exact same way you did, having the exact same thoughts and opinions as you wouldn’t be that much fun. I mean, anybody that can stand in front of the mirror can accomplish the same thing as that anyway. I already know what I look like, so lets jump on out there and see what everyone else looks like.

In my experience, applying the rules of real life to the internet has been a rather interesting and often times rewarding experience for me.

Not buying into the hype is pretty much the order of the day around here. The internet can be an extremely useful tool if you’re in to staying grounded and focused.

In closing, I’ll say that the future may not be as bright for social media or main stream news as some people might think.

Everyone overreacts and overgeneralizes on the social media — the news exploits that and fuels their sales with paranoia that is statistically insignificant.
I’m inclined to think that things can only go on so long before natural course correction occurs.
We may today be looking at the beginnings of that course correction as more and more people begin applying the rules of real life to the internet.

sourced – Facebook’s Dark Pattern Design, Public Relations and Internal Work Culture

What Twitter’s changes mean for news organizations

Applying the rules of real life to the internet means being mindful of trends and polls

Thanks for the read.

Happy Trails




 

Complete and Finished

Complete and Finished

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words complete and finished.

In a recently held linguistic competition held in London, England and attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man from Bachelors Adventure, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over five minutes.

The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between the two.

Here is Samsundar’s astute answer — “When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!”

Samsundar won a trip to travel in style and a case of 25 year old Eldorado Rum.




 

The rich millionaire

millionaire

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, and during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.

“I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.”

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what’s happened.

There’s a man in the pool and he’s swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going while the sharks are gaining on him ’till he reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.

The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, “I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferrari, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen.”

“So sir what will it be?” the millionaire asks.

The guy grabs the microphone and says, “Why don’t we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!”




 

Lost in the translation

translation

Lost in the translation — A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.

“Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.

The two Americans just stare at him.

“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries.

The two continue to stare.

“Parlate Italiano?”

No response.

“Hablan ustedes Espanol?”

Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”

“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”

———

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English”, he said, “a double negative forms a positive.
However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative.
But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative”.
A voice from the back of the room retorted, “Yeah, right”.

———

Translator gets 400 words to translate.
Client: How long will it take?
Translator: About a week.
Client: A whole week for just 400 words? God created the world in 6 days.
Translator: Then just take a look at this world, and afterwards, take a look at my translation.




 

Good Fortune: A Morning After a Wild Night

good fortune

Good Fortune: A morning after a wild night — Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover.

He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper — he can’t believe his good fortune this morning.

His son is also at the table, eating and Marty asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 am drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”

Confused, Marty asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married!”.




 

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