Looks as if Jeff Foxworthy has got us pretty well figured out.
Check out his observations below:
If “vacation” to you means going shopping for the weekend in Great Falls, Billings or Bozeman (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn),
You might live in Montana.
If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord,
You might live in Montana.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Montana.
If you’re proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Montana.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy”,
You might live in Montana.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
You might live in Montana.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there,
You might live in Montana.
If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,
You might live in Montana.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You might live in Montana.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
You might live in Montana.
If you know how to correctly pronounce Butte, Choteau, Havre, Dupuyer, Meagher, or Wibaux,
You might live in Montana.
If you measure distance in hours,
You might live in Montana.
If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup,
You might live in Montana.
If you know several people who have hit deer more than once,
You might live in Montana.
If you often switch from “heat” to “A/C”in the same day and back again,
You might live in Montana.
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching,
You might live in Montana.
If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,
You might live in Montana.
If you’ve installed security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,
You might live in Montana.
If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school basketball game,
You might live in Montana.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them,
You might live in Montana.
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time,
You might live in Montana.
If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on Deer gun Opener,
You might live in Montana.
If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You might live in Montana.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Montana.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction,
You might live in Montana.
If you can identify a southern or eastern accent,
You might live in Montana.
If you consider Red Lodge exotic,
You might live in Montana.
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood,
You might live in Montana.
If the sunbelt to you means Miles City,
You might live in Montana.
If a brat is something you eat,
You might live in Montana.
If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition,
You might live in Montana.
If you find 0 degrees a little chilly,
You might live in Montana.
If you actually understand these observations, and you forward them to all your Montana friends, You must live in Montana.
Mrs. Thompson: A class act
Though the story below is fiction, it hits on some of the every day things that kids and teachers might go through at school and at home. I used to tell our son not to be too harsh on some of the mean things other kids might do at school because we don’t have any idea how their home life might be. Not all kids are the same just like not all teachers are the same.
Everyone has that one teacher that makes a difference. For me, as I recall, it was my 4th grade and 6th grade teachers that made all the difference in the world. I’m sure you probably had a teacher or two that actually made a difference too.
Mrs. Thompson: A class act
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth.
Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.
However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.
It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners … he is a joy to be around.”
His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”
His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.”
Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.”
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself.
She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy’s.
His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.
Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents.
Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.
But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.
Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, “Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.”
After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.
On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic.
Instead, she began to teach children.
Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy.
As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive.
The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded.
By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her “teacher’s pets.”
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy.
He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors.
He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came.
This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further.
The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.
The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring.
Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married.
He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.
Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing.
Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.”
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.”
Note:
This work of fiction was penned by Elizabeth Silance Ballard in 1974 and printed that year in HomeLife magazine.
Mrs. Ballard did however base some of the details in this story on elements of her own life.